Ever feel like you're walking on eggshells trying to manage your own big feelings so you don't upset your kids? You're not alone. But what if I told you that the most powerful tool for raising emotionally savvy kids isn't a perfect parenting script—it's your own emotional intelligence?
As a psychologist with 20 years of experience, I've seen one common thread in resilient, confident kids: their parents know how to work with their own emotions, not against them.
When we treat our feelings not as messy nuisances but as brilliant biological messengers (just like hunger or thirst!), we teach our children an invaluable lesson: emotions are not to be feared, but to be understood.
These parents consistently do four things. The more you practice them, the easier they become to model for your kids:
1.**They Notice & Honor Their Emotions**. They don't bury or dismiss feelings. They name them. A simple "Right now, I feel overwhelmed" is a powerful act of validation that allows for healing and action.
2.**They Regulate Their Own Emotions**. Emotions are contagious. By using simple techniques like coherent breathing (5-second inhale, 5-second exhale), they calm their nervous system first. This means they respond to their kids from a place of calm, not react from a place of peak emotion.
3.**They Don't Label Emotions as 'Good' or 'Bad**'.
Anger isn't "bad It's data telling us a boundary was crossed. Sadness isn't "negative"; it signals something we need to mourn. This non-judgmental approach allows kids to explore their own feelings without shame.
4.**They Practice Self-Reflection**.
They look back at their own upbringing and ask: "How were my emotions handled? What do I want to do differently?" This breaks old, hurtful cycles and empowers them to create a new, healthier emotional legacy.
Our children learn what they live. They witness what we do, not just what we say. By tending to our own emotional garden, we give them the seeds to grow their own.
https://www.cnbc.com/video/2022/11/05/phrases-parents-of-successful-adults-never-used-margot-machol-bisnow.html
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